Sunday, June 29, 2008

For Those About to Rock (i.e. me) We Salute You.


That’s right folks….I am once again the proud owner of a 1993 Yamaha PSR-410 Portatone. (Please don’t call it a keyboard…it is clearly so much more.) This beauty was a Christmas gift from my dad when I was nine, and it has finally found its way out of the basement storage, and back into my home and heart. According to the manual it is “a high-quality musical instrument that incorporates advanced Yamaha digital technology and many versatile features.” According to other authorities (my husband) it is a noise machine that has yet to demonstrate positive traits. No worries; My newly acquired Billy Joel song book is bound to change that.
For those of you questioning the reasoning behind the resurgence of this little treasure, it is a phenomenon that all but defies explanation. This is just the latest in a long (looooong) line of interests that walk the line between “pipe dream” and “legitimate hobby” (I reference previous endeavors, including, but not limited to: bowling, power-lifting, skateboarding, clogging, paper making, Capoeira, cello and trumpet playing, hip hop dancing, sign language, freestyle walking, 5K running, crocheting, barefoot skiing, salsa dancing, smoothie/frozen drink making, backyard gymnastics, scrapbooking, drum playing in an all female band… The list goes on, and yes it is all too real, as my friends and family can attest...) All of these items sparked my interest at some point or another, and resulted in varying levels of success. Quite often I find myself responding to a mention of a sport or activity with “Yeah, I used to do that...” or “I tried that once…” Trying (and more often than not, quitting) things is a part of who I am. I am constantly struck with a desire to take up a new hobby, or get involved in a unique interest of mine. And usually, just as suddenly, I am struck with a new curiosity and move on to that.
Some would see this as fickle, or an inability to commit to things, but I truly look at this as a huge positive part my personality. Sure, there is something to be said for long term dedication, and enduring passion for a select set of interests. But I think there is also something to be said for the willingness to attempt new things. To dabble, to experiment, to commit or to cut your loses and move on to the next big project. Some of my endeavors stick. Some don’t. But I never see it as failure. Sometimes I realize I wasn’t suited to that particular activity, and other times it temporarily falls by the wayside to make room for a newer interest. Others may doubt their abilities after attempting such a range of pursuits without true long term results, but I can’t be bothered. I’m on to the next thing, approaching it with the same zeal as I did the last. I view each attempt as a success, regardless of the outcome, because the goal is in the action, not in the resulting product. I’m interested in the process…I love learning, trying, just having the experience.
This wasn’t always like me though. In fact, it was quite the opposite. As a kid I hated to be bad at things. Before I ever tried something in public, I would practice extensively in private. As a three-year-old student in “combo dance”, I refused to unveil my cartwheel prowess without first tumbling around solo in my bedroom. I would limit my activities to things I felt I could master, never wanting to fail. Then, quitting activities was often due to a feeling that I couldn’t do it perfectly, so why bother?  I think my current attitude shows how dramatically I’ve changed, and I’m proud of that. People who didn’t know the early me, usually have no idea, because this new pattern is so deeply engrained in me now.
But even if people are familiar with my quirkiness, they’re not always sure how to react.  Upon hearing of one (or many) of my random pursuits people often ask, “So what does Dustin think of this?” It seems that they try to use his response as a clue as to what they should think. I imagine they expect him to be dubious, or at least surprised. But truthfully he is (almost) always completely supportive. He’ll listen patiently, shake his head with a smile, and stand by me while I fulfill my need to do. (It gets a little more dicey when my obsession du jour involves his participation. But even then he typically tries to humor me. Sometimes...) He may not fully understand me, but he fully loves me, and that matters infinitely more.
As for my latest scheme? Perhaps I will resurrect my childhood talent and passion for the piano (which, were admittedly limited and short lived). Or more likely I will learn the treble clef portion of three Journey songs and be done with it. But if nothing else, at least I’ll have some fun, and maybe a story or two to tell.
So for those about to witness (i.e. tolerate) the rock, I thank you.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Unplugged: the results show

(warning….carve out about a day to read this whole post. It is a doozy! Guess that’s what happens when you limit your forms of entertainment!)

Oh what a week! Without any Internet updates, you’re probably wondering where I’ve been for a week (and a half). Well, I am happy to report that my exercise in simple living was a success. I managed to stick to the rules (for the most part....there were a couple minor debatable instances, but overall I stayed true to the spirit of the experiment) and I really felt some growth. I don’t want to over dramatize the issue, but until this week I felt like my life was on autopilot. Very fast autopilot. Get up, go to work, come home, eat, run errands, do some chores, and then it was time for some mind soothing (ok, numbing) tv and Internet ‘til bedtime. Rinse and repeat. Although certain days had their variances (church, young life, softball games etc.), all too frequently I found myself on one end of the couch, remote in hand, and Dustin on the other end, face half obscured by his laptop screen. Books were going unread, piles of magazines and dirty clothes were accumulating, and the mental list of fun summer activities was not seeing much action. Now, I’m a fun person. I love going out, exploring new places, talking with friends, taking on new hobbies. So why did I so often end up in the same place, mindlessly viewing another show or webpage?

One of the answers I learned this week was because it is easy. So much of my (and everybody’s) day is demanding. There are things to plan, work to do, rooms to clean and the vast majority of time is spent doing and thinking. Technology provides a break. Time to not do, to not think, which in moderation can be a very helpful thing. But used incorrectly, it can become an escape, a crutch, that prevents us from having to put forth any effort into things that truly matter, but may not have deadlines or tangible consequences. I know that this was the case for me, because after finally turning off the shiny screens at night, I didn’t find myself energized, happy to have a refuge from the demands of the day. I was usually still tired, still cranky, now with more stuff to do tomorrow. But the reason I kept going back to it was because it was easy. Even if it wasn’t fulfilling, it still seemed more appealing than all the effort of more doing and thinking.

But this week the choice to check out was taken away. I found that even if I didn’t think so, I did in fact have enough energy to clean up a bit around the house. And that pile of recipes I’ve been meaning to organize didn’t seem so insurmountable. Once I took away the TV option, I realized a wealth of other options I had been subconsciously ignoring. The possibilities were literally endless, and I was motivated by the equal parts excitement and boredom that my new habits had created.

Without TV I felt like a better wife. There was nothing (well, less at least) distracting me from talking to Dustin. It was actually quite the opposite, as the silence and stillness encouraged us to relate to each other more. And, I was honestly surprised by how much time we actually have. I had been living in a cycle of busy-ness, but what I didn’t realize was I was creating some of that mania myself. Taking better advantage of my time showed me how much I actually could do, if I made wiser choices. Saturday afternoons in front of a screen tend to fly by, but that same time spent driving down a country road, or eating a leisurely lunch while we listen to music, seems to multiply.

To be honest though, some parts of this new lifestyle were difficult to get used to. Sometimes when you come home after a long day you just want to veg out and be left alone, but without the aid of electronic entertainment; Not this week. Dustin and I had to talk. Or at least figure out something else to do. It was oddly refreshing and yet convicting that my biggest issue of the day was having a few hours on my hands and no real obligations to fill it. Something most people see as a luxury, me and my atrophied brain struggled. I know that if I choose to continue on this path I’ll find more and more interests and activities to pursue, to the point that I would wonder how I ever had time to laze on the couch. But in this first week, it seemed daunting at times to look over at my husband and know that for seven nights I was to serve as cruise ship director, planning our fantasy week of mass-media-free fun.

Beyond the period of adjustment though, there were definitely still some drawbacks to this experiment (and I do mean beyond missing the latest episode of The Real World). Without the Internet, I felt like a worse friend. Emails were going unread, facebook messages and invites were ignored, quick online chats weren’t happening. For better or worse, the Internet is a relational tool, and I missed being able to utilize it. One could make the argument that I should call friends, or send family a real, paper card rather than relying on the ease and immediacy of the Internet. But- with loved ones spread all over the country, it’s hard to deny the benefits of instant contact despite long distances.

I would be lying though, if I said that all, or even most of my time on the Internet is used for such altruistic purposes. On the contrary, I think my Internet usage can be divided into two categories: good, and excessive. The good are things I mentioned above: staying in touch, reading blogs of friends and other similar productive interests. The “excessive” grouping is the most difficult to pin down, because it’s kind of a fuzzy thing to define. Most of my surfing starts out good, with a question or goal in mind, or at least an idea of what I’m aiming to find. The problem comes when the good use lingers and stretches into the excessive realm. Fifteen minutes on craigslist searching for (my latest furniture obsession!) a bar cart: fine. Trolling the listings daily looking for beds, chairs, dressers, and (more) dining room tables: excessive. Perusing design blogs for inspiration and ideas: great! Realizing hours have gone by with nothing to show but a list of links and a pretty photo or two: excessive. The Internet is a deep expanse with never ending connections, and if you (I) aren’t careful it’s easy to go from casual wading to drowning in information without even realizing. For me, sitting down at the laptop with no time limit or restrictions is practically asking for me to waste an afternoon. It truly I a powerful tool, but only if you’ve mastered (or controlled) its use.

So, Monday the ban was lifted, but it was a jam packed day. I got home from work/the gym/dinner at a friend’s/YL campaigners around 9:30, and normally the first thing I would have done would have been to flop down on the couch and nurse my tired soul with some TV. However- the new and improved me was really starting to like the productivity that a technology hiatus had afforded me. I was able to put some things away, and make some lemonade, and clean up (I had manage to spill upwards of 3 cups of water on the floor in my attempt at happy homemaking!) before I parked myself in front of the tube. By then, flipping on The Bachelorette seemed like a choice, rather than a subconcious zombie routine. I made the most of my time by organizing my gmail address book, and sending out an Evite for my campaigner girls. However I am not so happy to admit that Tuesday night, with a husband asleep early due to a headache, I was left to my own devices (literally) and began an hours long binge of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”. Not my proudest moment.

But I am a work in progress, and am excited by the changes I see in our future. Even if my week wasn’t perfect, it was filled with successes: I went on a walk in the park, dragged Dustin to Zumba with me, read “scary stories to tell in the dark” aloud (before bedtime…mistake!), played Yahtzee! with my inlaws, cooked meals...like, without the microwave and watched the longest softball double header of all time.

It was a good week…One of many yet to come.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Courtney: Unplugged

Around 1:30 last night, I came up with a genius idea. (deciding to wake up Dustin to talk about it turned out to be a far less genius idea...) I am giving up TV and Internet for a week. *gasp* (was that just me?)

I suspect public reaction ranges from "so?" to "who cares?", but those of you who really know me will realize the scope of this commitment. You see....I love TV. No; I LOVE TV. I always have, and to some degree I suspect I always will. But I love a lot of other things as well, and I certainly don't devote as much time to them. You know, important things like reading, exercising, cooking nutritious meals, talking to my husband.....the list goes on. I don't think TV is necessarily a bad thing, but its role in my life has gotten a bit unbalanced. Without a drastic step (OK..drastic for me!) I don't think I could make the shift to the more "normal" habits I'd like to have.

Now, I won't lie, I do have a safety net for this daring experiment: DVR. I think you could probably give up anything if you knew everything you missed would be saved for your later enjoyment. It probably defeats some of the purpose of the whole exercise, but at least it's a start.

As for the Internet portion of the equation, I think that is a necessary sacrifice as well. It takes up a fair portion of my day, and although there are some great aspects to it (keeping in touch with friends, settling disputes via google, etc.) there is a significant amount of time wasting to it as well. (P.S. I fully understand the irony of spending an hour on the Internet drafting a goodbye letter to the Internet...I understand it, but have not escaped it.)

My main goal is to take back control of my time. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling like there are never enough hours in the day, but I need to recognize my role in creating that crunched feeling. Even bigger than that though, is the desire to engage in my life more. At times I feel like I'm just existing, rather than growing and thriving. I think removing some of my biggest time and energy suckers, will allow me to put the focus back on what I truly want my life to be about.

For those of you rule stickler type people, my self imposed limits are this:

  • No television until midnight on Sunday 6/22. (the week technically began last night at midnight. I set blogger to post automatically...mind blowing I know!)
  • One exception- Tuesday night gathering at the Mitlo's. My rationalization is this night is much more about the social event than the TV show that we watch. My reason for going every week is to see friends and catch up, not to see who got kicked off of our latest program.
  • The Internet stipulations get a bit more dicey, as it is necessary for work. I've settled on this:
  • Work email is acceptable. Personal email is not. (Sorry friends...if you need me feel free to call or even stop by. Those are experiment sanctioned interactions!)
  • Internet is to be used during work hours for specific job tasks only. (Yes, this includes blog surfing, but limiting it to the workday only keeps it from crossing over into nightlong decorating gallery searches)
  • Quick utilitarian Internet uses are permitted (how do you like that for a sketchy rule?!): examples include mapquest, and weather.com. Because let's be honest, not even I can manage to overdose on sites like that.
So, wish me luck! Hopefully I'll return in a week, rested, fulfilled and energized. Or at least ready for a "So You Think You Can Dance catch-up marathon" (I kid!)

(Oh- and if you're wondering....Dustin's participation in this event is voluntary. He has yet to sign on.)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day!

Dustin and I are blessed to have not one, not two but FOUR amazing dads. We could never do enough to show how much we love and appreciate them all, but hopefully this small tribute expresses how thankful we are to have such great fathers in our lives.


Joe:
Well, you're certainly a big influence in our lives (everyone likes a father's day pun right?!) You've had your hands full with the three boys over the years, but you should be proud of the hand you had in raising them to be the men they are (even if all are still a work in progress!). Now though, we are really enjoying getting to know you more as adults. Thanks for all of your mob stories, your sports enthusiasm and most of all your love.



Pop:
You're always there with a helping hand, or at least a listening ear. It's such a blessing to feel that we always have someone "in our corner" to dispense advice or share in our happiness. Thank you for all of the constant support, and love. A dad and a best friend in-one is a rare find, but you are certainly that.



Vern:
Your personality is one of two great extremes...there probably isn't another man on earth as silly, but as sincere as you. We are always learning from you, from your grilling prowess, to your extensive home repair knowledge (duct tape anyone?) But more than that, you've given us an excellent example of what it means to be a Godly man. Thank you for all the guidance, and the FUN you bring to our lives.



Daddy:
A favorite part about our relationship has to be the witty banter and sarcastic fun we have. You're always there with a smart comment, or a funny quip, which makes spending time with you so much fun. But beyond all the laughs, there is a serious side which is full of love. We always know how proud you are of us and feel we can depend on you for anything. So thanks for all the great conversations and continual support.



Happy Father's Day to you all. We love you guys!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Matryoshka of Mine

Look what I got.........
That's right kiddies, the dolls have arrived! I was so excited to come home to find that little beauty waiting on my doorstep. The package is adorable, Abbey really went above and beyond in organizing this. Look at the cute little cards she made!

The set came with a note listing each artist's name. So fun! But I know what you all really want to see is this:

As far as I can tell, I am the proud owner of a flower child, a bird-mime, an underwhelmed birthday boy, a Visine needing eyeball and the world's tiniest naked man. Isn't it the craziest set you've ever seen? There were 26 participants, and tons of creative, strange and beautiful dolls. Big thanks to Abbey to putting this together. It was a fun exchange, and I'm sure it'll be an even bigger success next year!

Read more about the swap here and see the entire set here.