Wednesday, November 26, 2008

When You Can't Take it with You

This post's title comes from an article in November's Real Simple magazine by author Merrill Markoe. She lives in Malibu, an area that was threatened on several occasions by wildfires, during which the police organize evacuations, forcing residents to pack up and leave their homes. Each time, she's had to decide what items are worth saving and which to risk losing forever. She states: "my dogs, the deed to the house, the home-insurance policy, the checkbooks, the computers and the hard drives: These were no-brainers. Other objects were considerably more difficult to ponder."

It got me thinking; what I would do if I were in her situation? It's a bit different from the question that most people have been asked at some point in various "getting to know you games": Your house is on fire and you only have a minute to grab one thing, what will it be? In Markoe's scenario, there is more time for decision making and space for more items. But I wonder if that doesn't make it even more difficult. If you had to pair down your entire life to one carload, how would it feel? Would you be surprised by what you choose? Would it be harder than just picking one item and abandoning the rest? I took some time to think, and here's what my imaginary hoard would look like:
  • The must-haves: All of our official document type items that require dealing with the government to replace. Avoiding that type of hassle is invaluable.
  • Obvious choice: Photo albums, "memory boxes", journals and scrapbooks. This includes surprisingly few things, as most of our memories are stored digitally, but the teenage girl inside me can't bear to part with old movie ticket stubs, and love letters from the early days of my relationship with Dustin.
  • Clothes: Practically speaking I'd bring a small suitcase- a couple pairs of jeans, and a weeks worth of the necessities. (but who am I kidding? I always pack for double the trip length that I initially plan for. For this trip I'd probably stuff a suitcase with 2 months of my finest Old Navy bargains. So silly.) Completely impractically speaking, I'd want to bring my prom dresses and Halloween costumes. I'm somehow justifying their worth due to the memories attached, and the man hours spent to make many of them. And on a purely sentimental note, even though it would take up the entire backseat, I'd have to pack my wedding dress. (this is currently stored at my mom's house so saving it is not technically necessary, but still...) I'm still not quite sure what I'm saving it for, it's just something that you do, and I don't think a crisis is the time to start bucking those kinds of traditions.
  • Jewelry: I don't have much that is of true monetary value, but I wouldn't want to part with gifts from Dustin or my Grandma's vintage items.
  • Basically anything that came from my Grandparents. Age tends to give things an intrinsic value, so it'd be worth the time to bundle up a quilt, a mirror, and a few other hand-me down type things.
So, I came up with this list, but it was harder than I thought. Not because I had too many things to fit in the trunk of my Corolla, but more so because I found it difficult to spontaneously recall my valuables. I have a house full of things, but I had to physically scan various rooms, or dig into my visual memory archives to come up with items that were worth saving. And then even after I did, they didn't seem as valuable. I looked back on my list.....That's it? Normally if you asked me to throw away any of these things, I would balk, choosing to make more room for storage, or pack the closets just a bit more, to avoid having to part with any of my beloved treasures. But thinking of that car full of stuff as the only surviving relics of my life, it all seemed kind of insignificant. I also know that if I was truly in this situation, my rational side would fail me, and I'd end up with tons of "impulse items" in the car. I'd probably have a stuffed animal, my new feather headband that makes me feel so fancy, and a handful of magazines from my vast collection (this would be mostly to prove to Dustin that I hadn't saved them in vain all these years. Abandoning them now would be like admitting defeat!). Thinking about what sort of trinkets I'd insist on bringing makes me laugh, but wonder a bit about what all the stuff I have means about me.

The author found herself in a similar mindset. Toward the end of the article, Markoe asks,
"If all this stuff I own isn't really worth saving, then why is it cluttering up my closets, bookshelves and fireplace mantel? What are all those clothes in my closet doing there anyway? Why do I save all those snow globes? All good questions."

Especially around Thanksgiving it's easy to gain a real sense of perspective and see all the petty material things in our lives for what they are (petty material things). And of course I know that the most important things aren't things at all....relationships with friends and family, and memories of times spent together are of much more value than any tangible item could ever be. But all of the stuff that we fill our lives with must have some significance, otherwise, why would we bother? I might not waste space in my car full of treasures on one tenth of the the things that I choose to keep in my home, but that doesn't mean they're worthless. These things may not deserve a permanent place in my life, but if they are the source of even fleeting joy, maybe that is enough. Because even after going through this exercise, I know I'll still collect tchotchkes for the living room, and buy piles of discount duds from Target but I'm grateful that these items don't define me. I'll appreciate them for now, but find comfort in knowing that they're only temporary, and that is ok. Above all I'm thankful for all that I have, from my relationships with loved ones, to my silly porcelain figurines that inexplicable bring me so much joy. I truly have been richly blessed.

So what about you? What would you pack in your car? Does any of it surprise you?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Catfish, not cabbage

On Friday night I watched the movie Juno, and even though it was the second time I had seen it, I was still struck by how much I liked it. Not everyone is a fan, maybe due to the the subject matter (spoiler: teen pregnancy!) or the quirky dialog (Sample: "That ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, homeskillet."), but I think it's a really cute film. The main character is a witty, eccentric girl who dates a sweet, if a little strange boy named Paulie. They're both a little odd compared to typical high school characters, as Juno describes, "I guess normalcy isn't really our style." but despite their quirks (or maybe because of them) I found them really endearing.

I bring all of this up as part of a round-about segue to last weekend's event. Last Friday I went down to Florida for my cousin Geoffrey's wedding. Not unlike the Juno characters, he has always "marched to the beat of his own drummer" (in a good way!), so it was fitting that the ceremony was tailored to fit Geoff and his bride Kaitlyn. They aren't big fans of many of the standard wedding traditions, so they decided to pick and choose to design the perfect event for them. Kaitlyn's "must haves" were photography and a big beautiful gown, while Geoff's desires centered more around keeping everything low key, and avoiding a "big to-do". It was a lovely ceremony, held on the shore of The Edison House. It was filled with giggles (just because it's a serious commitment, doesn't mean you have to act serious!), family, and the bride's favorite color: orange.

Perhaps the most unique part of the wedding (besides the groom wearing earrings made from buttons from his bride's gown) were the words they spoke to each other during the ceremony. They had traditional vows, but following that, Dakota (our second cousin, and officiant extraordinaire) lead the couple in reciting a string of sentiments beginning with "You are my catfish". Some of us...ok, maybe just me, thought she said "cabbage" which made only slightly less sense. But I asked my cousin Ingrid about it later, and she explained the reason behind the vows Geoff and Kaitlyn created. Apparently, when ready to mate, female catfish make a nest and wait for the male catfish to swim by. They travel past her in large fast swimming groups, and somehow she finds a male that catches her eye. She follows him and they swim together, through river currents and twists and turns. Finally, after traveling together through the stream, they settle back in the nest she created. But most importantly, they mate for life.

It may not be the typical wedding narrative, but I think it is a sweet thought. It reminds me of the opening song from Juno, the lyrics of which serve as a lovely tribute to the new couple.

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and green
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves.
All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.
If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.



Congratulations Kaitlyn and Geoff. And as Juno would say, I hope you are always the cheese to each other's macaroni.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

24 before 25

A few weeks ago, I caught a couple minutes of a Lifetime movie in which the (I assume) main character was working on one of those ever popular “# of things to do before you turn #” kind of lists. Or maybe she was dying (as half the characters in Lifetime movies usually are) so it was more of a Tim McGraw Ballad type of endeavor…Either way, her current task was “sing at a karaoke bar” which struck me as a little lame. At the time I thought that if I were ever to make a list, it would be full of exciting, important things on a much grander scale than performing on a beer stained bar for local patrons-turned-talent-judges. But then I stumbled upon this post on Simply Lovely. She and fellow blogger Hula Seventy made a different type of list that really got me thinking…

Joslyn explains:
“these lists are meant to be realistic and in the spirit of being good to yourself…not some sort of giant "bucket list" over the course of a life. Simple things. Small things. Meaningful things. What do you want to do before you're 25 or 43 or 55? Next month? Next year? Inspire us please!”

Today is exactly two months before my 25th birthday which is, in my mind anyway, quite a milestone. I’m not interested in making a bunch of resolutions, or throwing out lofty giant sized goals. What I do love is the idea of realizing some simple things that matter greatly to my spirit, and then actually following through on them. I’m not going to beat myself up if they don’t all happen….it’s just a fun way for me to resist coasting through the routine of life and actually engage in my days. I’ll be happy reaching even the smallest of my dreams.

24 Things to Do Before I'm 25

  1. Go on a date with Dustin (and finally take his boss up on his offer to treat us to dinner!)
  2. Email a friend I don’t talk to often enough (Unfortunately that would be just about all of my friends.)
  3. Use the video camera for something other than vacation footage and house tours. Maybe some Christmas memories?
  4. Treat myself to a simple pleasure that I typically think only rich people get- fresh flowers, a fancy candle, the expensive handsoap….
  5. Go to Zumba.
  6. Try at least three of the recipes I keep ripping out of magazines.
  7. Throw a party- preferably with a theme…or costumes…or BOTH!
  8. Organize my sheets. (I know it sounds lame, but it would make me so happy not to have to dig, and sort, and guess, every time we have guests overnight.
  9. Exercise twice a week, even if one of those times is just parking on the third floor of the garage.
  10. Discover Dustin’s “love language” and learn to speak it.
  11. Cash in on my anniversary present and go salsa dancing!
  12. Finally organize all of my mail/coupon/inspiration/paperwork piles that clutter up every horizontal surface of the house.
  13. Pray before bed.
  14. Go on a walk around the neighborhood.
  15. Decorate the guest bedroom- goodbye wallpaper, hello bed!
  16. Learn to play “Apologize” on the keyboard from memory.
  17. Write our Christmas letter, without taking all the fun out of it by stressing about making it witty, beautiful, and perfect.
  18. Use all those fancy frames I bought for my fancy dressing room
  19. Do a craft. Any craft that makes me happy.
  20. Book all the trips I’ve been meaning to take but haven’t because Expedia stresses me out.
  21. Get my license plates renewed for crying out loud.
  22. Build a snow sculpture.
  23. Take a photo I love enough to frame.
  24. Call my Grandma.

So there is my list. What would you put on yours?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Ansel Adams I am Not

For our third anniversary, Dustin got me an awesome new camera. I call it my "big girl camera" which is Courtney-speak for a DSLR (that stands for digital single-lens reflex...which means it uh...has a lot of buttons and a ton of manual options...or something like that). It is such a nice camera, that I was scared to use it for the first two months I had it! I've taken photography classes before, but I had forgotten most of what I had ever learned. So, I was intimidated by all of its fancy settings, and felt like I wasn't skilled enough to do it justice. But I finally got over it, and decided just to give it a shot. (oooh...a photography pun!) I'm no expert, but I'm having fun learning! Here are some of my first "big girl photos":

This one is cheating because Fallingwater is so
beautiful that it's impossible to take a bad picture!

A close up of the mini-pumpkin centerpiece my mom made.

Pears! From our very own pear tree!

They're actually pretty tasty!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Just Dance*

Guess where I went on Saturday night.... A hip new Pittsburgh hot spot? A romantic date with my husband? An all expense paid trip to a tropical paradise? Nope. Better.....

Oh YEAH, that's right, I attended The Snuggle Presents So You Think You Can Dance Live Tour 2008! Catchy title right? Wordiness aside, this was an epic event in my life. See, I LOVE me some SYTYCD (Catchy abbreviation right?). I've explained my obsession at length, but no words could express the joy of seeing it LIVE, and IN PERSON! See all these capital letters? I am BURSTING with excitement. Bold even!

Now, I will be the first one to admit that this wasn't exactly a big budget, slickly produced, high level show of Broadway proportions. No, many aspects of it were more akin to a high school talent show. You see, the bulk of the show was the dance performances. The amazing, flawless, awe-inspiring dance performances. But even the best dancers need a bit of a breather once in a while (not to mention an extra moment or two for a costume change). So, the dancers came out in pairs for some witty repartee, as an attempt to stall allowing the others a chance to catch their breath and shimmy into a new sequin dress. And though I am a true fan of each of the contestants (and therefore am more forgiving than the average patron), at times their attempts at humor, or even attempts at just reading, were a bit painful. At one point my friend Rachel and I agreed it was like watching a bad Young Life skit: puns, awkward transitions and all.

But- I would sit through hours of groaner jokes, and flat dialog for the chance to witness moments that I consider true genius. Yes, the set was minimal to non-existent, and the costumes and the video montages were mostly recycled from the show, but somehow it didn't matter. The performances were good enough that there was no real need to fluff it up with theatrics. Whether you love dance or not, it was powerful to witness twelve people give their all to something they believe they were created to do. It was so inspiring, and (once again) revived my desire to dance. I don't have one-tenth the talent that any of these performers do, but the whole night was a reminder of how much fun dancing is, and how much I miss doing it regularly. I'm hoping to get back to taking lessons here, either going back to my hip hop class, or trying out something new.
But enough about my pointe-shoe-pipe-dreams, back to the show...I wish I could have taken you all with me. Or better yet, I wish I could go again with each of you! But I'll do the next best thing and share the links to some of my favorite performances (Granted, these are from the show, not the tour, but beggars can't be choosers). I hope you find them even a fraction as impressive as I do.
  • One of my favorites (Dustin tries to imitate Mark's moves, which only endears me to it more): Chelsea and Mark dance to "Bleeding Love"
  • A great look at how costumes, music, and choreography come together to make magic: Group routine to "The Dance" (an amazingly haunting song by Charlotte Martin)
  • (Yet another) amazing piece by Mia Michaels, performed by Katee and 2008 winner Josh. I get goosebumps every time I watch this. Crazy good!
What a great night. I'm already looking forward to next year!

* Title is a reference to an infectious song by Lady GaGa. It was all the rage with the preteen girls attending the concert! And me!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

History

Sooooo, I don’t know if you’ve heard......but something pretty big happened last night:

Whether you’re thrilled or terrified we can all agree that this is a historical event. (I find it funny how often people are saying things about this event being historical. Isn’t it always historical when a President is elected? I understand the bigger meaning regarding race relations and change, but I still love the emphasis. All other presidents are past. This one will be history.)

But, it’s been a long road, and whether the results went your way or not, I think we’ll all be glad to have a 4 year break from the propaganda. I will miss Tina Fey as Sarah Palin though. So as we bid farewell to this race, I leave you with a closer look on how the electoral votes went down:

Monday, November 3, 2008

Super Tuesday, Superstitious

Is it true?

If so....a win for this guy...
Means a win for this guy....

In the Washington/Pittsburgh matchup the Steelers emerged victorious. In the McCain Vs. Obama contest....only time will tell.

Now go out and vote!