Courtney's Test Kitchen: Zucchini Lasagna

Zucchini Lasagna in 21 easy steps

(alternate title: The frighteningly true store behind why

Courtney and Dustin spend so much money at restaurants)

1. Start with a pan. You know....like a big ish one. (This should give you an idea of how precise we're going to be from here on out.)

2. Pour sauce in it. Enough to cover the bottom. I recommend: sauce from a jar. Highly.


Getting crazy here: three steps, one photo. Try to keep up:
3. Slice zucchini lengthwise using a mandolin. No, a mandoline. (oh image link humor...)
4. Place slices over the sauce. Overlap if you like...get crazy with it!
5. Sprinkle flour on top of the zucchini because....well because I had some vague idea that it would absorb the excess water from the veggies and keep it from being too thin....and I can't prove that's not true.

6. Pour one can of shaky cheese (I think that's what the Italians call it...), and one tub of ricotta into a bowl.

7. Sprinkle nutmeg on it because I'm pretty sure one time I put nutmeg in the filling for stuffed mushrooms and those were delicious!

8. Add anything else you want: Basil? Onion? Garlic? SALT?!?!? whoa....calm down. It's lasagna not a free for all.

9: Mix it, and then smear (schmear, for my Jewish readers) the mixture on top of the zukes. (yeah, we're calling them that now.) This will be a bit challenging, because the cheese will stick in big globs, and the zukes will start sliding all over the place and sauce will get everywhere, requiring you to wipe the pan down with a paper towel before taking a picture of this step in the masterpiece. It may almost seem like there's something wrong with the recipe, or that this is a terrible plan, sure to end in ruin. Press on....

Now the next few steps aren't pictured, but I cannot stress their importance enough. If you follow nothing else, you'll want to really nail this part:

10: Forget to buy mozzarella cheese.

11: Briefly consider going to the store to get it, realize that requires more effort and commitment than this thing probably warrants.

12: Put some foil over the pan and leave it in the fridge for tomorrow.

Are you still with me? It gets a little complicated, so pay close attention:

13: On the following day, buy the cheese (your procrastination may or may not be rewarded with a 10 for $10 sale. Score!)

14: Find a way to forget/ignore/put off finishing the recipe for two more days. C'mon, you can do it....

15: Day 4: Sprinkle cheese over whatever is festering, I mean marinating, in the pan.

16: Repeat the layers (sans time delay): sauce, zukes, cheesy mix, cheese.
17: Place it on the middle rack in the (you guessed it!) 'fridge, because seriously, that was a lot of work, let's just bake it tomorrow.

It may feel like it's getting a little tedious at this point. But trust me, the hard part is over....time for the big finish.

18: Have someone else (I don't know...maybe an obliging husband?) bake it while you're at work. Give vague instructions like...350? For a half hour...I mean hour...?

19: Instruct them to call my mom because this schenanigans has gone on long enough, she'll know what to do.

20: Heed her warning to boil pasta just in case this turns out terrible-horrible-no good-very bad.
21: Remove from oven, slice/pour over pasta. Enjoy!

Nothing to see here...

Move along to Crafty P's! She's got the dance recap this week. Last night we had Ellen, and tonight we gain at least half of TomKat. (i.e. Katie Holmes) Should be a good one!

Michigan: not nearly as terrible as you think.

When I was a kid, I, like most children raised in Ohio, learned a song in which the main lyrics are "We don't give a d**n about the whole state of Michigan", so it was a bit strange to pack up for a weekend in the land of Great Hate. Oh- I mean Great Lakes. But our good friends from Cincinnati, Brian and Jillian, recently moved and bought a home in Grand Rapids, so I couldn't let a little thing like deep-seated state rivalry keep us apart. Besides, Ann Arbor is over two hours away from their new digs. Lumping them together would be like blaming Columbus for Cleveland's suckitude. In other words, completely unfair.

So we embarked on the six and a half hour road trip (somehow I seem to remember it being shorter when I signed up for the trip....). Two to three hour juants are routine at this point, but this trip tested our stamina. Ultimately, it went like most of our road trips go: Dustin drives, we argue over windows vs. AC, and I read magazines until I eventually fall asleep, leaving Dustin to suffer the miles alone. But- we had a very successful new addition this time: slurpies! This made all the difference. I was up and ready to party for the Michigan portion of the journey (which came in handy in Ann Arbor. I mean, someone had to be ready to flip 'em the bird!).

Almost as important as the real fuel.

I imagine these two were anxiously awaiting our arrival.

But all the miles were more than worth it when we were greeted by the Parsons' smiling faces (well....Megan needed a bit of convincing before she was ready to fully embrace us.) and the Riels, another couple (plus baby and a half) we were friends with back in Cincinnati.

The boys of summer.

We had a wonderful weekend. Michigan charmed me with its perfect weather (I think we witnessed the best three days of the year), and quaint yuppy towns. Friday was a quiet night at the Parsons' abode- spent catching up, wrangling children and just laughing together. The boys got to take in the sights on a late night beer run, while the ladies hung back and gossiped about our husbands (kidding...sort of!). Saturday was gorgeous day, and we took in all the joys of surburban living. (fun fact, East G.D. Rapids, as it's known, is famous "for its award-winning school system with extensive athletic championships, its affluence and its lack of ethnic diversity". That's a wiki-fact, but after a weekend there, I'd be inclined to agree.) We enjoyed a walk to the Gaslight Village, had lunch al fresco, checked out a local candy shop (that may have enduced a short megan-meltdown....my bad!) and stopped for ice cream (and pictures of course!).

Jeff and Karen....+ another baby on the way!

One of 85+ adorable Megan pictures I took. She probably
won't recognize me without a camera in front of my face.

Dustin found a delightful little lady to help him finish his cone.

After all of that fun (and sugar!) it was time for a nap for the little ones and some fun in the sun for the big kids. EGDR (as the cool kids are calling it) is one of those ideallic neighborhoods that you dream of growing up in....or at least raising kids there. Next door to Brian and Jill is a house with a zip line (yeah, you hear me) and an in-ground trampoline. It is at least as cool as it sounds. Not to be outdone though, the Parson's Palace is equipped with a pool- but in keeping with their Penguin-like tradition, they keep it at a brisk 62 degrees, so there wasn't a ton of swimming going on. Brian however, was bold as usual, and wow'ed us with his diving skills. I won't steal his blogging thunder, but let's just say there was a small incident involving a child's innertube. Stay tuned to his site for the story....

Scared of Daddy's antics? Or intrigued? Hard to say....

Sunday morning was a real treat, as we got to visit Mars Hill Church, home to preacher, writer, and all around cool guy Rob Bell. He wasn't speaking that particular week, but it was still great to check out a new church, and spend time worshiping and learning with good friends. Unfortunately the Riels had to leave shortly after, but not before Reva got a few more rides on the Pretty Pony. I swear I still have the song in my head.

Clippity clop. Clippity clop.

But the fun for us was far from over. We took a quick trip over to Holland MI, home of Kerry and Sue Boote, who are Jillian's parents as well as extraordinary boat tour guides. They took us out on Lake Macatawa (Lake Mac to the locals) and Lake Michigan (which might as well have been an ocean....where does it end?!). This may have been the highlight of the entire trip. I giggled like a five year old while we crashed over waves, Dustin and Kerry bonded over real estate prices, lake history and other guy talk, and Megan fell asleep.

See...even far from home we still rep the O-H!

We ended the weekend with a double date dinner, with talks of friends, jobs, ministry, plans, hopes and....life. It was an absolute delightful trip- the only negative was leaving. But hopefully we'll be back sooner than later, or we'll plan a Pittsburgh pit-stop, or our paths will cross in Ohio. Regardless, I'm just grateful for good friends- their honesty, generosity, and love.

Long Lost Love

I reunited with an old friend today:

It's been quite a while since I picked up a wedding magazine (probably somewhere around four years?) But this particular issue called to me in a way few others had...I saw it several times while waiting in line at Giant Eagle, and eventually I couldn't resist its siren song. I finally caved and picked it up today...just to look. Three pages in, I was done for. I told Dustin, with all the seriousness in the world, "I NEED this." And in the cart it went. I'm a sucker for weddings, and I love Martha, so it's a tough battle to look away from the glossy goodness every month. But once giant balloons and a special craft section get involved, I can hardly be held accountable for my actions. I read it all the way home, nearly squeeling with delight.

So tell me- Is it worse to be the girl who picks up the wedding magazine long before there's a ring on her finger? Or the girl who's been married (almost) four years, and still can't resist the fantasyland? Either way, I'm pretty sure I was, and am, that girl.

FaB-ulous fourth

The Forth of July has always been one of my favorite holidays. I guess I just love F-words. You know, food, family, friends, fun, FIREWORKS! This year's celebration was wonderful....filled with all of my favorite F-words, but we added some new B-words to the mix this time:

Banjo!

A late birthday gift from my parents, and perhaps

a gift to the entire neighborhood who will get to

hear the rookie song stylings of one Dustin Bowden.

Boyfriend!

Meredith brought her boy toy home for the weekend

to meet the fam, and enjoy some Red White and Boom Action.

It was great to meet him, and we shared a great night with

plenty of beer and a bodacious apartment (two other great B's),

Best Friends!

I can't tell you how much I love these two. With Meredith

living on the east coast and Jamie on the west, it's not

always easy for us all to get together. I was so excited

to spend the day with them. I just won't talk about

who won the croquet match...

Baby boy!

This five day old beauty is my brother and sister-in-law's

new son. I think he was awake for about five minutes

the entire weekend, but that was just fine with me,

as I got to snuggle with him some. He is an absolute

delight, and I thought (more than once) about

sneaking him into my luggage.

Hope your holiday was packed with just as many fabulous B's, F's (and maybe the rest of the alphabet too!)

Happy House-iversary

This morning Dustin reminded me that today is a very special day...it's the one year anniversary of buying our house! One year ago today, we unlocked our front door for the very first time, sat out on our deck, shared a hoagie, and dreamed about the future. I can barely believe it's only been a year, it seems like too short a time to hold all the memories that we already have.

Our friendships have grown here. New faces have walked in, and become a part of the new life we're developing. We've shared meals in the dining room, and played more rounds of Mexican train than you can count.

Our family has gathered here. Overnight guests have snuggled up in our spare bedrooms (and on our futon, couch and air mattress!). New babies have laughed (and cried) here, and new holiday traditions have been born.

Our marriage has been strengthened here. Under this roof we've grown together, and shared the deepest parts of our hearts. We've worked side by side to paint some walls, but we've also worked to love each other more.

Our ministry has blossomed here. Kids have crowded our living room, consumed all our Dr. Pepper and defaced our lawn. We've opened our home, and opened our hearts, hosting dance party sleep overs and encouraging honest conversations.

Our home has been more than a house. It's been a blessing in our lives.

Dance time

Party's here.
Check it out...you know you want to...

The results are in...

Group Performance Is Brand new day from The Wiz, which they mercifully choose not to turn into a Michael Jackson tribute. The dance is pure pandemoneum, with people running around everywhere. The costumes are a strange mix of the circus + Lion King. And speaking of cats, (kinda?) Deely is a sex kitten tonight- nothing but eyeliner, bed head and a disco nightie. Meow! (wonder what Mia thinks of her....) And the eternal question-how did they all get changed so fast? I think we can put the "performances are pre-recorded" mystery to bed now.

Time for the big reveal....
First up: Vitolio and Carla vs. Evan and Randi. Surprising no one- (ok at least not me)- Evan and Randi are safe.
Next: Jeanette and Brandon. No comparison/stalling here...safe.
Now it's Kayla and Kupono vs. Melissa and Ade. K&K are headed to the bottom three. Mia is shocked and says she thought their performance was perfection. That takes a bit of the mystery out of who she might vote for later....
Last: Jeanine and Phillip vs. Caitlin and Jason- This seems like an obvious choice- BUT NO! I am beyond surprised to see Jeanine and Phillip in the bottom three. I guess after reading everyone's comments I shouldn't have felt they were untouchable, but they're two of my favorites, so I am sad (but still not worried...)
Mary declares this the closest competition in SYTYCD history. Not sure about all that- does anyone else think they're pushing us just a bit too hard to love this season? Stupid season four, spoiling me with its awesomeness.
So- before they dance their solos, by guesses to go home are Vitolio and Carla. We'll seeee....

Time for the crazy dance spectacle of the week, and it does NOT dissappoint. A girl and a guy- or is it two guys? Or is THAT the girl? Anyway, they give an incredible performance. Shows a different side of ballet- If Melissa and Ade's choreography had this strength mixed with grace I could watch it all night....

On to the solos:
Carla
Song: Backbird by Dionne Farris
This is her third time in the bottom. Goodbye carla, 3...2...1...

Vitolio
Song: Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts
Nice song title- irony much?

Kayla
Song: Stupid by Sarah McLachlan
She is just great. Quickly becoming a favorite of mine.

Kupono
Song: Somewhere over teh Rainbow by Israel Klaksflskjsdfkv;owei (or some other Hawaiian thing)
ugh-waving your arms around for thirty seconds doesn't count as a solo. Wave Aloha Kupono. (and by that I mean goodbye!)

Jeanine
Song: Moonlight Sonata from Smart Sleep with Classical (do they give that away with mattress purchases?)
First time we've seen her do contemporary (her style). She called it a blessing in disguise to show off her skills. I loved it.

Phillip
Song: You'll Find a Way by Santigold (Santigold, like Hansel, is SO hot right now!)
He is just awesome- so unique. Cat was selfishly thankful he had to perform, and I agree.

Judges deliberate- Quick full body shot of Mary- I know Rachel fell in love with her shoes!

Musical performance this week: Kelly Clarkson (SYTYCD + AI: the merging of two reality show titans...I'm pretty sure this kind of thing could tear a hole in the universe. You've been warned.) She's actually singing live, which is good, but I'm not sure I agree with her deciion to let a mail man play guitar in her band. My mom says Kelly looks like a girl from teh state fair. When questioned, she clarifies- "You know, stringy hair, kinda slutty. Why would her agent let her out looking like that?" Bravo mom. Snarky, while still managing to resist the obvious fat joke. We should get her a spot in the rotation.

Results time:
Girls- unanimous decision. Jeanine, you're the strongest of the evening, Kayla, you're the judge's and choreographer's favorite, and Carla....don't let the door hit you in the leotard on your way out.
Guys- unanimous decision. Phillip, you're unique, but we have to say somethign challenging to you so it doesn't seem unfair, Vitolio, we're just going to ramble some stuff about stage presence..you decide if it's good or bad, Kupono, you're WEAK. Like really bad. But don't worry! We have no sense! Or coherent standards! So Vitolio goes home! what??

So there you have it guys and dolls.....now tell me- were you surprised? Delighted? Annoyed that Asuka keeps slutting up the audience week after week? Let me hear it!

Imagine a Creative Dance Title Here!

Hey Sisters (and honorary sisters…and brothers?)! I’m happy to have you all visiting this week, but I have to warn you: I got home tonight around 11:30 from a YL girl night to see “My Sister’s Keeper”. Great movie, but all the weeping combined with the late hour has wiped out any trace of wit I may have previously had. But dance waits for no man- 7 couples remain- it’s time!

Intro, recap, theme song….Cat comes out in a fun pink dress- with pockets!! Love.

Guest judge tonight is Mia Michaels! I’m torn here, because I love her as a judge, but I’m pretty sure this means we won’t see any of her choreography tonight. Kind of a double-edged sword (later she’ll use the same phrase to describe “prop dances”. We are kindred spirits.)

Before we get going, Cat lures us in with a promis of a special announcement later- $5 dance bucks says it’s about season six. Time will tell.

For each of the couples, they recap the last three weeks. For real- are people just now tuning in? Bor-ing. I miss the weird, forced, slightly disturbing “secrets” they usually tell. Without these segments, we’re going to have a hard time hitting our creepiness quotient for the week. More importantly though- they don’t show the couple picking a “random” dance out of the hat anymore (come to think of it, not sure they’ve done that at all this season…). Something smells fishy here- I’m starting to think this competition is a little bit more shall we say “organized” than we may have thought. Keep an eye out tonight….

And we’re off:

Jeanette & Brandon

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

Choreographers: Jean Marc and France Genereux

Song: Hush Hush; Hush Hush The Pussycat Dolls

Need something spicy and sassy. Their practice is a mess but I feel like Jeanette is going to rock this- she’s a Cuban from Miami….this is right in her sexy wheelhouse. The dance is indeed fun and sassy, but I have to ask- does Brandon ever wear sleeves? Maybe he rips them off every time he invites someone to the gun show? Nigel proclaims it the best cha cha he has ever seen on this show. Evah. EV-AH. And then it’s Mary’s turn- Oh no…the train is coming….they get first class tickets to the Hot Tamale Train! Yes they do! WhooHoo!!!! (She has somehow combined all of her craziness into one comment. Bravo!)

Kayla & Kupono

Dance: Contemporary

Choreographer: Sonya Tayeh

Song: Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation

Dance’s theme is Kupono trying to pull Kayla towards death- perhaps foreshadowing of him sucking her into the bottom three? Just a thought. Love watching Kayla dance-She totally got the quirkiness of the choreography, but still was so elegant. Nigel solidified his place in my heart, when he mocked Mary during her critique- “Yes they are! Yes they ARE!” They stay on the Hot Tamale train- it’s getting crowded- and sweaty. Mia loves the costuming and makeup. Should we trust a person who wears a Renaissance ruffle collar with a feather brooch? I say YES. And side note: Does anyone else think Mia and Sonya might make out a little bit after the show? Just wondering….

Randi & Evan

Dance: Broadway

Choreographer: Joey Dowling

Song: Rich Man's Frug from Sweet Charity

Second “coincidental” choreography choice of the night. Evan gets Broadway. That’s like challenging a dog to bark. They are one of my favorite couples- Randi’s like a little unitard clad cabbage patch doll. How tall is Joey though? She makes the dancers look like Oompa loompas. (the answer, apparently, is 6ft. Is Mia perhaps cheating on Sonya with this tall drink of water?) The song sounds like something out of Austin Powers and the dance is apparently meant as an homage to Bob Fosse, strange combination- but it worked overall. Mary mentions that each week the couples get 5 1/2 hours to learn the dance….impressive.

Caitlin & Jason

Dance: Pop Jazz

Choreographer: Brian Friedman

Song: Creator by Santigold

Concept here is a female alien that blew up earth- then comes to procreate with the last man on earth. Brian says Caitlin is going to impregnate Jason…I’m a little scared. Costumes are totally bizarre, Nigel reads my mind when he says “dancing condom” (though I believe it might also be described as a mash up of Godzilla, the tin man and a bike tire.) Very strange.

Jeanine & Phillip

Dance: Hip Hop

Choreographers: Tabither (as Cat would say) and Napoleon, or as Nigel says-NappyTab?? Or as Mia refers to them: Nap and Tabs.

Song: Love Lockdown, by Kanye West (note: I went through a phase where I listened to this song everyday…that plus NapTab guarantees I will love this no matter what)

Conspiracy theory continues here….our only hip hop dancer randomly gets his own style twice? Things that make you go hmmmmm. They’re dancing with a chain, which makes Nap nervous- and he’s not alone. I was pretty sure someone was going to break an ankle. (and I was even more sure Jeanine was going to break out of her top…) Truthfully though, Jeanine may not always be the best dancer- but I think she’s one of the best performers in the bunch (and not just because of her cleavage).

Melissa & Ade

Dance: pas de duex

Choreographer: Thordal Christensen

Song: Prokofiev’s Suite, from Romeo and Juliet

For real- this show is rigged. The ballet dancer gets a pas de duex…from Romeo and Juliet? I mean really. Why don’t you just give her The Nutcracker Suite? Come on. Nothing really to say here. I’m sure it was great, but it’s not really my thing. We’ll wait for Renee to weigh in. Nigel gives yet another pat on the back for the (his) show (as he does pretty much every week)- but he’s right about the range of dancing they show- there’s something for everyone!

Ok, one final couple- wait, no! It’s Announcement Time:

Carrie Ann Inaba, Nigel Lythgoe, Adam Shankman and Katie Holmes (yes, you read that correctly) have started a foundation called the Dizzy Feet Foundation. The goal is to expose underprivileged kids to the world of dance, and to search for and build new talent by giving kids scholarships. But wait- there’s more- Surprise Time!! Katie Homes will be performing on the show July 23rd (the 100th episode- who knew?!) Very interesting….(and for those of you who bet me earlier- congrats, I owe you 5 dance bucks. Redeemable for...very long recaps?)

Alright, we’ve made it- the final number:

Carla & Vitolio

Dance: Quick Step

Choreographers: Jean marc and France Genereux

Song: Puttin’ on the Ritz, by Rufus Wainwright

In a move that surprises no one, they’ve give the only new couple (made up of the two least popular dancers) what could arguably be called the hardest dance style on the show. Dance starts off cute- and then-Holy crap she just changed her dress on stage!! Reminds me of the quick change artists from America’s Got Talent. That’s pretty much the highlight here.

So there you have it. Another masterfully designed edition of the competition.

My prediction for the bottom three is tough this week, because no one really had a terrible time- but here goes:

• Caitlin and Jason- their dance may have been just a bit too odd. Oh, and Jason is really boring. So there.
• Carla and Vitolio- they’ve had a rough run, both have been in the bottom three multiple times. Their dance was good, but maybe not good enough to win them new fans.
• Melissa and Ade- not because it wasn’t great…just because it might have been a little bit slow for the main demographic of SYTYCD (alright…me.)

Your thoughts? And question: after all this discussion- do any of you actually vote? I just can’t get motivated to pick up the phone for these people. I keep waiting to catch the fever…..but nope. But stop back tomorrow. I’m taking the recap show on the road to my mom’s house (holla Cbus!) so we might have some fresh insight to share.

Now dish!