Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Costume Week: Barnyard Stall

It's finally here! The dramatic culmination of the epic event known as Costume Week! And in a related story- It's Halloween!

I want to blow your mind with costumed-awesomeness for our final day...And Piper does have a killer outfit planned for today, but getting quality (i.e. non-blurry) pictures of it is hard enough. Real-time blogging it is impossible. So until I can give her Official Halloween Costume the Official Blog Spotlight it deserves, I'll attempt to hold you over with some non-sanctioned, non-costume pics.


"Hold up: You're posting this?!"

Truth be told, this isn't really costume at all. Those are just your standard, run of the mill, duck-foot jammies. (Which double as completely appropriate day-care attire). And the layer of lambswool? Is a hand me down coat from my nephew (who is now four, and allowed to wear boys' clothes). I didn't plan to dress her like dueling OldMcDonald verses...but when fate steps in like this, I just get out of the way. (well...I actually I get out my camera...then get out of the way). 



"Alright, if you must...at least let me compose myself."

You may have noticed that while the coat is beyond adorable, it's not exactly the best fit for our little lamb. You see...Piper has what we affectionately call a Giant, Sputnick, Orange on a Toothipick, Cry Herself to Sleep on her Huge Pill-a, head. I mean, I love her, but she's got T-Rex syndrome: big head, tiny arms. Well, actually big head, tiny body. And her beloved (by me) sheep jacket? It's sort of the opposite, with an itsy-bitsy head hole, and boxy boy with ample arms. But should a little detail like fit stop me from decking her out like the supporting cast of Babe? I think after a week of costumed shenanigans, we can all comfortably say, "Heck, no."

"Later mom. I'm off to find a real costume."

See ya soon!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Costume Week: School Days

You've already seen my baby pics, and my college costumes...now it's time to fill in the gap with some elementary school memories.

Kindergarten: Black cat

Allegedly it's a cat anyway...It could be a dog. Or a bunny. Or any type of rodent. But my mom assures me it's a cat. Perhaps she's never seen real cat ears?



The lion next to me is Leo. He stood on my grandparents' neighbors' porch for years when I was a kid. My mom would take me over there every year to take a picture and mark my growth. And harass their neighbors, I assume.



I'm pretty sure my grandpa is just dressed as my grandpa. It was a little hard to be sure with him sometimes. But we'll wait for my mom to chime-in in the comments to be sure....


1st Grade: Minnie Mouse

There is a pretty clear dividing line here, from baby animal costumes, to mature, girl-about-town Disney selections. Well, that's how I remember it anyway. This is the first year I got to pick my own costume, and coincidentally (or not) the first non-handmade year as well. I really wanted to be Minnie, so my mom talked to a friend about borrowing her daughter's costume. I should have been grateful for the loan, but instead I remember being really upset that the dress had a picture of Minnie on it. The real Minnie Mouse doesn't wear a dress with her own face on it? What kind of impostor crap was this get-up? I was a mouse purist after all. If I'm going to go the extra mile and paint on a widow's peak, I'm going to expect the same level of effort from the wardrobe department.


My cousin Geoffrey is Splinter (in his real Tae Kwan Do outfit!)
How 90's-awesome is that?! Bonus points for the unibrow.

2nd Grade: Cleopatra

This is a phenomenon known as lamazing: An event in which something is so horrifically lame, that it somehow morphs into amazing.



Should we take it from the top? With the cheap wig barely even trying to cover my monstrous pasty forehead? Or from the bottom: where I might actually be wearing tights over my children's orthopedic sandals? The costume was my mom's actually, and I think I was jealous of how glamourous and worldly she looked and begged to wear it. Hmmmm...guess it didn't quite translate on a seven year old.

3rd Grade: Cinderella

Another Disney moment...This one thankfully devoid of an embroidery rendering of the character in question. Only thing that threatens to ruin my princess perfection (besides some dance recital level makeup) is my ace-bandaged wrapped sprained wrist.



Maybe I hurt myself stumbling around in the dark after my mom kept making me take off glasses for pictures?

4th Grade: 50's girl

This one was my go-to. I swear I wore it more than one year, and if not, I know it was at least repurposed from my birthday party the year before. (Yes, I had costume birthdays back then too...No surpise I'm sure.)



I'm pretty sure I had arms, but in my mom's turtleneck and cardigan, it's hard to say for sure.
The one thing I do know is that my dad's high-tops are cooler than I'll ever be.


What I really should have found was a photo of my cat in a matching skirt. 
Because that was most definitely a thing.


With my BFF's the Peters girls. Have you ever seen a sweeter set of little ladies? 
Nothing like these pussy-call-doll-cheetah-girl-hootchie-mamas I see parading around these days. Whatever happened to a nice prairie bonnet and clean white twinset?

5th Grade: Cow

Meredith Peters was the twin sister I never had and from first grade on, we did everything together: trick or treating, glasses-shopping...you name it. So if she was going to be a chef, I was going to be a cow. I'd lay down my costume-clad life for that girl.


Rockin' earrings she has, no? 

Well....it's almost the big day...Hopefully I inspired you to bright your costume A-game. And if not, call my mom. She probably has a wig you can borrow.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Costume Week: Carmen and the Baby Fruit

Brace yourselves kiddos: today's post is a doozy. I could have/should have narrowed these pics down a bit. But I could not/would not. So get your scrolling fingers ready. I'll at least try to keep the words to a minimum.

Friday was our annual office Halloween party and costume contest...and for those of you not lucky enough to work with us...I will end any suspense now- Here was my entry for this year:


I went as Carmen Miranda, or as I was more commonly referred to "the Chiquita Banana lady". Considering one coworker thought I was Aunt Jemima (true story) I'll just be thankful if anyone gets even close. But since I "host" the contest (by that I mean I make the trophy), I'm not eligible to win...


So I'll just get on with the show and present the other contestants:


drumroll....


Cave-girl, me, owl, Woopie Cusion (the obvious winner!) and some inside joke 
costumes that were hysterical in context but here maybe not so much.


It was a small crew that dressed up, but the potluck was fierce, and I got to look ridiculous, so I'm not complaining. 






But let's be honest, I know what you people want, and it's not more of my nonsense.
You people want the baby fruit. Well I aim to please:



YES! Baby watermelon!

I found this costume on sale at the Children's place. Last year. Yep. Last year. As in...before my baby watermelon was even out of my giant watermelon belly. Some people might think that's a bit excessive....but I'm like a Boy Scout when it comes to costuming: Prepared. I've wanted to be Carmen Miranda for years (I've pics in my Halloween inspiration folder forever...And yes, that's a real thing) so when I saw the little stuffed melon, I knew this would be our year.

And now I present to you a run of nearly identical pictures that are at the same time each uniquely awesome...


Thoughtful melon. 



Adorable melon. 




Happy melon. 




Tiring-of-this-charade melon. 




Pick-me-up-please melon. 




Angry melon. 


It's good, right? Like so very good. I want to eat her big fat fruity ruffled belly.


Nom nom nom.

Halloween Treats: For the daycare set

{Don't worry...I'll be back later with a #CostumeWeek post. Just wanted to start your day off with a quick treat!}

We've been over this a few times: I love me some Halloween. But I'm pretty quirky about how I like to celebrate it. I really don't like the scary gore-y stuff much...I prefer a sugar coated version of the holiday   focusing on pretty pumpkins, fun costumes, and festive parties. Just because it's not scary, doesn't mean it can't be fun! 

And if that's not enough...truth be told, I'm not actually a huge candy fan either. I mean, it's ok, and I have been known to gorge on 100 grand bars if I'm left alone with the stash....But as a kid it just really wasn't my thing. I would break my neck running around the neighborhood hitting up as many houses as possible. I would sift, sort, count and catalog my haul. I would store my treasure in a giant bowl inside a cabinet in my desk. And there it would sit. 98% untouched, until the next year when my mom would force me to dump it all. I think I just liked having the candy, not so much eating the candy. 

So even though I'm not candy crazy, I don't want to get a reputation as the Weird House That Hands Out Toothbrushes, so we happily dump mounds of candy on all our little visitors each year. But when I began thinking about what to make to hand out to Piper's class this year, I realized...candy's not really an option for babies. What to do? I didn't want to make some lame healthy treat (and embarrass her in front of her friends?!) but I also couldn't make popcorn balls for the poor little toothless wonders. So I was ecstatic when I found these babies: 



Tiny halloween ducks! Piper has a growing collection of these little guys, so when I spotted a pack at the party store, I knew they'd be the perfect treat for her daycare friends.





 I wrote out a little poem, and mounted it to old Halloween paper I still had in my scrapbooking stash, and tied each card to the little duck's neck.



Couldn't be simplier! And since we had a few extra, Piper has been toting her ducks all around the house...I think it's safe to say they'll be a hit.




If you're interested in making your own, feel free to repurpose our note! 


Ghosts, goblins and monsters
Can be quite a scream,
But spooky duck wishes you:
A Squeaky Clean Halloween!

xo, boo! piper
(and her mummy and daddy)

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Costume Week: Married Life

When I married Dustin, I knew he was quite a catch. He can sing, dance, calculate least common denominators...he's the total package. But he does have one glaring flaw that he managed to keep under wraps until we sealed the deal: he hates costumes.

So as much as we are hopelessly in love, and each others perfect match, yada, yada, etc and so on, you will be hard pressed to find us strutting around on Halloween in his-and-hers matching ensembles. He will occasionally consent to dressing up, but he's pretty picky about the theme, so I don't push my luck trying to get him to be my sidekick, and instead will settle for helping him with whatever character he'll agree to.


And here's what we've come up with in the past


2006 

Court: Devil Wears Prada
Dus: Clark Kent 

This was actually one of my favorite costumes, because it was easy, cute, and involved a pun. 
I made a t shirt for Dustin so he could wear a white button down over it and call himself dressed. Done.



FYI, that is not a real baby I am whispering devilish secrets to
That's my friend Christina, going as Project Runway's Laura Bennett.


2007

Court: Flamingo
Dus: Steely mc beam

Ok, it turns out my halloween costumes are a little bit like children. they are all precious, and are all my favorite. I loved being a flamingo. I got to play around with facepaint (another one of Dustin's non-negotiables), make a giant pom, pom, feathery tu-tu, and stand around on one leg. 

For Dustin's part, I think he actually put this together all on his own.  I'm not sure what got into him that year...the is as out there as I've ever seen him go. Turns out he's always had big mascot dreams!
 





2008 

Court:  Flamenco dancer 
Dus: Eagles fan

And what is by far our laziest year, I present 2008. I went as a flamenco dancer, cobbling together a bunch of junk I had laying around (what, you don't have lace corsets and feather hair accessories at the ready?) And Dustin flat out refused to do anything, finally compromising with me, and changing into an Eagle's jersey. (and slippers. Probably in protest).
 
 







You have to admit he's workin' it though....

What do you think? Is your spouse a Halloween-grinch? Or are you putting us to shame with your matching threads each year? 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Costume week: Horror Film

Posting childhood photos of Halloween costumes is all well and good....It's that version of embarrassing that isn't actually embarrassing at all, because most likely even the most ridiculous ensemble is usually still adorable, and even if it's not, there was someone else to blame for the nonsense.

But sharing old photos from high school and college? Well...those tend to be the kind of embarassing that is actually just really, really embarassing.

But I like you guys. So knock on my blog door and yell trick or treat, and I'll throw humiliating photos like king-size candy bars into your pillowcase of treasures...Careful. They contain nuts.

Senior year of high school- Christmas Tree: 



Ok, so the pic is really blurry...but to summarize: I have on my mom's hand me down costume from when she was 7 months pregnant with me, I'm wearing flared cords and a Michigan State Tshirt underneath (with my New Balance shoes. Sporty-Spruce!) And I have my eyebrow pierced. For real.

Even a maternity costume isn't big enough to hide my shame.
 

Sophomore year of college- Lady Bug


I wish I had a full body shot of this tramp-fest, but you have to remember that when I was in school, digital cameras were still just barely catching on, and facebook was a year or two out from existence. I have precious few photos from college (in comparison to the 90 shots I take at each meal nowdays). But as I recall, the rest of this look involved a red knit skirt, and cheap pleather boots (high heels with a squared off pointy toe). Less "lady"bug, more "hooker"bug.

Full disclosure, the filename to this photo included the words "ladybug hotness". I'm cringing to the point of barfing.

And last...
is another shot from my Sophomore year at UC. But this one's not even from Halloween. This is just a snapshot of the crazy-dorkiness my friends and I would pull on a random Saturday evening.


Bonus cameo by a box of tampons.

There you have it. Pure, unequivocal proof that I was (am, and always will be) an uber-dork. Like you're surprised.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Costume Week: The Early Years

I was born a bit of a quirky kid...headstrong might be the most accurate way to say it. As soon as I could talk (and maybe before) I had some pretty firm opinions about the way I thought things should be done- my way, to be exact. But when it came to getting dressed- my mom held those reins tight. For at least the first five years of my life. I remember finally getting to express my budding-fashionista style later in elementary school, but before that I was a living doll, and my mom was all too happy to primp and pose me in frilly dresses, giant bows, and endless french braids. 

But where her skills really got to shine was on Halloween. My mom loves a costume. And loves a mother-daughter costume even more. So as the only child, I was the perfect sidekick for her dynamic duo dreams.

Check out our debut: my nine month old, still-bald head shoved into a wig made for a circus drag queen:


(I fully realize the ridiculousness of this, and yet, I don't blame her one bit.
I would kill for this outfit for Piper. White mary-janes? Striped TIGHTS?! Ab-so-lutely.)

The next year is tame by comparison, but still scores big in the cute department. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture that includes my mom...but we make up for it by featuring my eyepatch.  Yep. Eyepatch.  One of the only times of year you're jealous of my childhood disability because it makes my costume that much more heart melting...


And can we talk about my little limbs sticking out of the sweatsuit? Too good.
(Ps. I'm kind of the spitting image of Piper in this pic. But it may be 
because of the judging face of disbelief I'm rocking.)

Up next- 1986, akak, the year of the elephant:


Apparently me and my eyepatch were a lost cause, and my mom took to just covering up my face entirely. I've given up as well, and just stand with my arms out, hoping maybe someone will take pity on me and throw some candy in my bucket. Maybe the giant nose and huge ears are a cruel joke regarding my other senses overcompensating for my eyesight?

But check out my mom's getup- clearly she wanted to cover me up so she could garner the attention as a glamazon zookeeper.


But you have to give her credit...the feet- the TOENAILS. Holy attention to detail.



Please, fake old man. Take pity upon my big-eared blind self.

For my 4th Halloween, it was time to give the people what they want: Full-on matching mom and mini marsupials. 

I'm pretty sure she sewed those hats with her own hands. 
And picking out the panda print tights + saddles? Nailed it.

And last, in the parade of pre-k costumes...Is a literal pre-K parade of costumes: 


(I actually think this was my mom's class of first graders...
but some nice little girl held my hand, so let's not quibble about age.)

I was finally face-paint-free and looking glamorous, in my fairy-ballerina-princess-tap dancer ensemble...? 


...While my mom went a different route in some gussied up scrubs:


"Back up a little would you? I want to make sure the station wagon 
still fits in the frame when I awkwardly crop this later..."

Thanks mom for teaching me the pure joy a hand-stitched sweatsuit and homemade mask can bring. 
I look forward to forcing Piper into itchy, uncomfortable, stop-yanking-up-your-tights-and-stand-still-for-this-photo garb for years to come.